Jon Smith

Jon was accepted to the Ross School of Business despite having not worked an honest job for nearly three years prior. After spending some time in the Army (including a “combat” tour to Kenya), Jon built an illicit transatlantic Kinder Surprise smuggling syndicate managed his investment portfolio while living in and travelling to exotic locales. When he’s not on a soapbox zealously evangelizing against the efficient market hypothesis to unenlighted finance professors, you’ll find him ruthlessly training his privately-funded militia of shark cavalry (pictured above) for the supposed impending global war against “the machines”. Despite his given name and former military rank, Captain Jon Smith had successfully avoided seeing the movie Pocahontas for his entire life…that is, until his prior Mtrek group recently “Clockwork Orange’d” him into watching it. His goal at Ross is to figure out how to monetize pets, because he believes, “these furry freeloaders need to start earning their keep,” and, “you can’t pay for kibble with cuteness.” Jon’s favorite color is the darkest shade of ethereal void. He hasn’t had a carb since 2004.