Michael “The Fixer” Cohen

Out on parole this summer from his 3-year jail sentence, “Typhoid” Michael of House Cohen, not the First of his Name, the Wildcard, King of the Body Shots and the Most Unsettling Smirnoff Ice Chugs ever witnessed by man, House Captain of the Infamous Boyne Weekend, Breaker of NYC’s Best Bagels, and Father of all the Finest Peacoat & Scarf combos you’ll see on Michigan’s campus, almost seems to be more of a Ross myth than actual MBA student. This real MC handled international affairs (LEGALLY! No Collusion!) for the German Marshall Fund and is always down to whip up a feast with his 10+ high-tech cooking devices he has crammed into his studio apartment…word on the street is he recently upgraded to a full-fledged 1-bedroom….so much room for activities, riiiiight? Hailing from the Granite State, Mr. Cohen is a true embodiment of its motto “Live Free or Die”, never backing down from a dance-off or a twerk challenge (despite his interesting choice in moves) and perpetually seeking opportunities to dress for the occasion (in Santa costume, sports coat, or grandpa sweater). Always down to rally the crowd with a round of shots, jukebox jam, or a downhill ski sesh in a dinosaur onesie, on Mtrek you can rely on Michael to go to the highest of highs and the lowest of lows (I mean really LOW) to ensure everyone is having the best time.